Dear Bosco
by Azure7
Summary: Sometimes when the shadows overtake you, you start to look back on your life. Then you realise. What have I done? So I wrote you a letter. It's my way of saying sorry. But I know it won't make up for what I have done to you.(Chap 2:Bosco writes back)
1. Dear Bosco

**Disclaimers: I do not own any of the characters.**

**Dear Bosco,**

**Dear Bosco,**

**There are a million things that I want to tell you. A million things that I want to ask. **

**Have you ever felt like your sinking? Like everyone is smothering you and you can't breathe? **

**I have Bosco, I do. Theres times when I think. Do I really want this life? All I do is push people away. Watch them disappear, sometimes die. I feel like I'm everyone's winter. A cold icy breeze that stays around for a while.You put up with it because you have too. Then it goes away.**

**I got some news today Bosco. I think I'm going to be doing everyone a favour soon. I'm not afraid if your worried about that. I'm not I swear. I can be brave Bosco. I can be strong. I don't need anyone. **

**Bosco I treated you like shit. I know that now. I'm sorry for the way I treated you. I really cared for you and I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise. It was a terrible time Bosco, you were the only one there. Maybe I was using you Bosco. I don't know. You were the only shoulder to cry on. **

**I can't help what I do Bosco. I'm strong and I won't change for anyone, not even you. But it doesn't make me feel like a better person. **

**Am I a good person Bosco? Am I really. I don't think I am Bosco. Whenever I get close to someone they disappear. That's why I try to stay away. I should of visted you Bosco. I'm sorry I didn't. I know that you hate me. I would hate me too if I were you. I just didn't know what to say. I suppose sorry wouldn't of really done anything.**

**I would give anything for it to all change. I would, I swear. You want to know something Bos? I think I may of loved you once. As cheap as it sounds I think I may of loved you. Question is, did you love me? I suppose I don't want an answer for that one. Just forget I ever wrote that. **

**Lettie was a good person Bosco. She was probably better then me. She didn't deserve to die. She was falling into a black hole. A neverending black hole and I couldn't pull her out. What am I saying? I hardly even tried. It's all my fault Bosco. If I had only helped her. If I had only saved her. But you can't save everyone right?**

**I'm sorry about Mikey. You were right, I didn't deserve to cry. I'm sorry. It was my fault. I was stupid. I didn't listen. I'm sorry. **

**I saw you go down for Faith. I watched you. But I wonder Bosco. If I was standing where Faith was standing. Would you have gone down for me? You don't need to answer that one either. You should of seen her Bosco. It was horrible. She was screaming. Crying. I didn't cry. I just watched. For the first time in my life I just watched. I thought you were dead. Everyone thought you were dead. The blood. There was too much blood. And now, I can't help but think that it's on my hands. But your okay now. I don't know what I would of done if you weren't. I think my heart stopped. Just for a moment. The minute Faith pulled back your hand I think it stopped beating. You should of seen her face. **

**Alot has happened Bosco. Did you hear, I got a new boss. Then I got sent to prison. That bitch Monroe. She actually stood by me when I got. Well, you know. I thought she was being nice but being my usual self I pushed her away. I should of seen it coming. Then the blood test. God Bosco, I don't know what's happening to me. You know how I said I was strong before. That was a lie. I'm afraid Bosco. I'm afraid and I have no one. Well, there's Santiago. He's great. Someone I can talk to. But he's not you. I know your going to throw this in the bin Bos. I don't blame you. **

**If you ever gave me a second chance Bosco. If. I would try being honest. I swear I would. But do we all get second chances Bosco? I need to find my way back. I used to get away with so much Bosco. Now all I want to do is just get away.**

**It's just, I just want you to know that I did love you. No matter what it seemed or seems like. I still do.**

**Maritza Cruz.**


	2. Dear Cruz

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters.

Authors Note: Preciate the reviews guys : ) About this letter; I just knew Bosco would not be all mushy and lovey dovey and stuff. So I tried to write how I think he would if he recieved that letter from Cruz. I may of not wrote it exactly how he would but I tried : )

I've decided that there will be lots of letters. Untill, I feel that they've talked enough to confront eachother or something. So just keep in mind that I tried to make this as 'Bosco' as possible.

**Dear Bosco,**

Dear Cruz,

Is this a joke or something? No offense Cruz but this is nothing like you.

I just don't get it. Do you really feel this way?

Anyway, just hear me out. I'm gonna write back to you cause I care. Maybe not as much as I used to but I do.

I don't know what to say. How bout I start with I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for Lettie. I wish I could of saved her. She was a great kid Cruz. She just got pulled under, too quick, too fast. You did everything you could Cruz. Everything in your power to save her. But like you said, not everyone can be saved.

Cruz, I'm sorry for treating you like shit. Well, most of all for blaming you for Mikey's death. It wasn't your fault Cruz. I know that now. It was not your fault. I'm sorry for what I said. I just had to blame someone Cruz. You were just the first person I thought of. Everything's just so crazy. I heard about Mann. It was a brave thing you did Cruz. Covering up for Faith like that. She owes you big time now, huh? Maybe I do too. God Cruz I never knew you felt this way. You never let it show, that's for sure. The way you used to look at me Cruz. Like I was shit compared to you. If only you had said something.

If, it's a pretty big word for something so small, ain't it? If I had only known the truth. If I hadn't of been so stupid. You were hurt and I just walked right past you. I remember that car ride like it was yesterday. Warner in the back bragging about shit. Me actually paying attention to him. Then he tells me what happened. I remember that feeling. Total shock. I should of killed him for you. Like Faith shot Mann for me.

Faith. I still can't believe she got promoted to detective. Then I realise why and it makes me laugh. If the boss ever found out.

Prison. That must of sucked. And you didn't even pull the trigger. What was it like? Is everything allright now?

Is this some sort of joke Cruz? You actually caring about me? Well, I know you well enough to know that you don't joke. Not about stuff like this anyway.

Yeah Cruz, I did care about you. I may of even loved you as well. Was it real? I don't know. I'll get back to you on that one.

Your a good person Cruz. Think about all the maniac's you've put behind bars. Warner will never do that again.

What news did you get Cruz? I don't understand. Is everything okay? Just don't do anything stupid. There are still some people that care about you. Your quite the writer aren't you? I don't mean to sound smart but I just can't get over the fact that you feel this way.

The letter was quite scary actually. When I opened it I thought it was going to be some sort of black mail. But I'm glad you wrote it. It means alot, seriously.

Just don't get me started on Santiago. Yes, I hardly even know the guy but still. No, I am not jealous. But we were a good team weren't we? Well, I reckon we are.

You know, I never ever suspected Monroe. She just seems like such a good girl. I mean the whole Oliver the Onion thing. An aunty that was buying an Oliver the Onion could never ever be a undercover agent. I mean she bought a frickin Oliver the Onion!

Okay, I'm sorry. But you got played. We all did.

Just write back to me Cruz. I need time to think about what you wrote. It's alot to think about Cruz. And don't worry. Faith won't see this letter. But you know how you said something about getting news? What was that about? Is everything okay? Cause if you need to talk, I'll be here.

I never thought I would say that to you. But it's true. What ever your going through, I want to be there. Just let me okay? Do something you've never done before and let me.

Maurice Boscorelli


End file.
